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Intimacy Through Sound

Joule L’adara, Carmelle Moore, Elvina Munir and Kieran Riordan | 2/3/2010

Satisfying intimacy is what we all long for. It is nourishing, affirming, healing and peace-giving. There is such potential for delight in the dance of intimate interaction, and such potential for disappointment due to differing masculine and feminine preferences in giving and receiving.
The essence of tantra goes beyond the common misunderstanding of spiritual sexual athleticism. Tantric wisdom invites us to use any of our sensory faculties to be de-lighted, to feel so good that we easily align with the blissful source of who we are. Exquisite sound, like sensitive touch, is a natural sensory pathway to melt defenses and be opened to your ecstatic fullness. Sharing such vibratory shifts with a partner allows a more fulfilling experience of intimacy.

We would like to offer two introductory exercises exploring intimacy through sound. We believe that these partner play activities honor both masculine and feminine essences and will therefore joyfully deepen your intimate play.

Intimacy through Sound Exercises

Preparation: Intention Setting

Start by sitting down and facing each other. Set your intentions by creating a “sacred space” and asking out loud for this work to be guided by the Light to bring about the highest good for all beings. Ask all other negative energies to kindly leave. Also ask that this space be safe and protected. Put this in your own words and have fun with it. Then sit for a time silently looking into each other’s eyes.
Partner Sounding with Voice

Still facing one another, close your eyes. Start to entrain your breath—this means inhaling and exhaling in sync, slowly expanding, lengthening, elongating and deepening your breath together. Allow this breath work to go on for some time.

Next begin a gentle hum together. Start out in unison by matching one another’s pitch. Make sure it is a comfortable note for both of you within your vocal range—if one of you is straining, you can change to another note and your partner should follow. Relax your neck and throat. Try experimenting by moving your lips and tongue around while producing this hum to change the resonance within your mouth. Listen to the subtle changes coming from your partner and respond in playfulness.

Now starting with the hum, slowly open your mouth to an open “ah” sound and then allow the mouth to slowly close back into a hum again. Play around with high and low tones, as well as with going back and forth between hum and ah, weaving in and out of your partner’s hum and ah. Remember that there is no right and wrong here, but there are different levels of listening and reacting to one another.

Next experiment with various vowel sounds: ah, ei, ee, oh, uu. Pay attention to how the creation of these different vowels makes you feel. What emotional qualities do you sense coming from your partner when listening to his/her sounds? Stripped of the meaning that consonants create forming words, what does your partner sound like when you are hearing pure sound communication? Listen with your full body—see how open and vulnerable you can allow yourself to be and how much of this person you can take in.

Lastly, slowly reverse the process, going from the open vowels, to just hum and ah, then just hum, and finally, allowing the hum to slowly diminish to pure breath, inhaling and exhaling together in synchronization.

Partner Sounding with Instruments

Preparation: Gather several sound and sensory devices and have them close at hand. This may include Tibetan bowls, chimes, bells, drums,
and rattles, as well as musical instruments. If you don’t have many formal instruments, you can also use glasses and bowls (with and without water), mugs, pots, or wooden spoons. Be creative, selecting objects based on the pleasing tones they produce whether played, struck or rubbed. Also it is great to have a selection of other sensory objects, like feathers, soft fabrics, aromatic flowers, and essential oils. Before beginning, be sure to set your intentions together using the guidelines above.

Start with one partner lying down with a cloth or eye cushion placed over his/her eyes. If at any time, the listener is uncomfortable, he/she should feel free to say so out loud so that the partner can make adjustments.

Begin to create sounds around your partner, not too loud or too close to the ears. With chimes and small to medium Tibetan bowls, you can even place them on the body. Continue to synchronize your breath with your partner while still playing sounds. Allow your mind to relax and intuitively play the sounds in the order and variety that will best serve your partner in this moment. Keep sounds gentle and soft, allowing enough space in between for them to ring out and resonate with one another, but avoid periods of silence here, as this can create anticipation or tension in the listener. It is ideal to create a steady, slow and almost rhythmical pattern to create maximum sonic support for your partner.
Once the sound play has finished, use a large feather to stroke or brush the auric field of your partner from head to toe without touching the body. While doing this, visualize that you are clearing away any energetic debris that may have come to the surface during the sound massage.

Next take a drop or two of your favorite essence or essential oil and rub between your hands. Quietly ask your partner to take a deep breath as you circle your palms about four inches above his/her face, over the body, and down to the feet. Visualize that you are sealing the auric field with this beautiful fragrance.

To complete the session, gently touch your partner’s shoulder and ask him/her to move the fingers and toes. When ready, your partner can remove the eye cushion.

After sound work with either voice or instruments, it is very important to allow space for the blessing of silence at the end of these exercises. It is in the silence after the sounds have ended where some of the most profound healing and connection can occur. Resisting the urge to immediately fall back into idle conversation, have the courage to hold the silence together for awhile, or possibly an entire evening. You may be surprised to discover a deeper level of intimacy together that words cannot begin to express.

Joule L’adara is the founder of Sounding Circles in Hawaii. Carmelle Moore is the creator of VoiceMoves Yoga and facilitates InterPlay throughout Australia. Elvina Munir is the founder of Harmonic Healing and manufactures beautiful sound healing instruments. Kieran Riordan is a Transpersonal Psychologist with a practice in Byron Bay. Joule, Carmelle, Elvina and Kieran will be co-facilitating the Sounding Circles Retreat in May 2010 at Kalani on the Big Island, Hawaii: soundingcircles.com